


Never Close Our Eyes

by Ellielunalove1d



Category: Adam Lambert - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 12:22:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellielunalove1d/pseuds/Ellielunalove1d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam falls for a girl but her insecurities leave them separated for years. How does Adam cope and will he ever find his true love? If he does can he convince her of how much he loves her?</p>
<p>Major character death is an exaggeration. Reference to it as a result of old age.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Close Our Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not saying Adam and Tommy had a real relationship going before, nor do I want to speculate on that. The celebs need a personal life so I'll leave them be. I'm not saying Adam/Sauli isn't adorable now. I'm glad they're happy, this is just a story I wrote on IF he were to fall for a girl.

Adam rolled over, the blankets bunching around his waist as his lover smiled up at him. He leaned down to press a chaste kiss to her luscious lips. His lover responded in kind, a hand stealing up to push on Adam’s chest. Adam fell back against the bed and smirked up at his lover as she gave a small giggle. She sat back and a slow frown formed over her lips. Adam merely found them all the more kissable and propped himself up on his elbows to peck at her lips. She pulled back slowly.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

She sighed. “I wish that tonight would never end.”

He grinned. “There’s plenty of time to sleep when we die, so let’s just stay awake until we grow older.”

She gave him a little push as she recognized his song lyrics. “I have so much to go back to, and so little to rely on.”

He nodded. “If it was up to me, you wouldn’t have to go back to anything, you wouldn’t have to be alone.”

She smiled. “I know, but you have your own life. Maybe I’ll see you another time.” She climbed out of the bed, revealing herself to Adam’s hungry eyes, and slowly got dressed. When she was decent, he climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of shorts before taking her hand.

“You’re wonderful, you know that?”

She shook her head. “No. I could never be good enough for you.”

“You were tonight.”

She sighed. “Why do you tell me that I’m even good enough for one night? You’re too perfect. Even Sauli and Tommy weren’t perfect enough for you, and damn it if I knew more perfect people. I’m just a normal girl.”

Adam shook his head slowly. “You don’t get it. You’re the first girl I’ve ever slept with.”

“I find that hard to believe. You could have anyone you want. You’re gay for fuck’s sake. What is the point of sleeping with a girl, except for releasing sexual tension?”

Adam stared at her hard for a long moment, then he grabbed her shoulders and pressed a harsh kiss to her lips. Her gasp invited his tongue to memorize her mouth and he didn’t pull away until his lungs were nearly bursting. She stared up at him with heavy lidded eyes and he sucked in a low breath at the lust he read there. For a moment, he almost debated whether or not he could let her get away, but at the light presense of fear in her eyes, he stepped back, trying to will his arousal away.

“I’m sorry Adam. I’m not worth it. Thank you for meaning so much to me. I only wish I could have been good enough for you.”

As she turned to leave, he grabbed her arm gently. “Wait. Can I have your number…and a picture of you, so I can remember you by?”

She stared at the ground. “Why would you want them?”

“If I’m ever in the area, maybe I can see you again.”

For a long moment she had an internal debate, but then gave a brief nod. He ran back into his room and grabbed his phone, but as he returned to the door, he heard it slam. He ran and yanked it open, intent on chasing after her, but she was out of sight. He stepped back. “I didn’t even get to know her name.” He stepped back into his room and sank down onto the bed. He released a long heavy sigh. “Now I’ve lost my chance.”

\-----------

Four months later, Adam was singing Never Close Our Eyes in a concert. He had tried to find the girl that had changed his life for almost a month before he gave up. His on stage antics began to diminish until even the band could see the evidence of his well hidden depression. His voice cracked during the final chorus but his back up vocalists covered over his mistake nicely.

Tommy approached him when the concert was over. Adam was sitting on a couch as make up was cleaned off of his face and his hair was dripping wet from his shower. He sat in just a towel and Tommy couldn’t help admiring the toned body that was suddenly thinner than the last time he had seen it this way. “Adam, is something wrong?”

Adam slowly looked up. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been awfully quiet lately and I’m worried about you man.”

Adam sighed. “I’m fine. Why are you asking?”

“I don’t know. Your voice broke and you’re not doing much on stage. Did something happen that you’re not telling any of us.”

Adam stared down at his feet. “I slept with somebody.”

This was news to Tommy and he raised an eyebrow. “When? Are you serious about him? Are you a couple?”

Adam stood up. “No we’re not a couple. About four months ago, we slept together, and I wasn’t good enough.”

“You weren’t good enough?” Tommy echoed, disbelief written in his voice.

Adam sank down on the couch, resting his head on his hands. “I couldn’t convince her she was worth anything to me.”

“She?” Tommy’s eyebrows shot up. “Since when to you fuck girls?”

Adam shook his head. “She was the one Tommy. And not just because she was pretty. She was perfect. And I’ve lost her. She didn’t stay. I feel empty without her.”

Tommy slowly sat down on the couch. He rested a hand gently on Adam’s shoulder. Adam looked up at his friend and then moved closer so he could rest his head on Tommy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry man. If I’d have known.”

“You couldn’t have helped in any way.”

“Was this the night when you decided not to go with all of us to the bar?”

Adam nodded. “She was perfect. Everything about her. She was sweet, she could sing, her smile, her eyes…and the sex was perfect.”

Tommy blinked a few times. “It was? I thought our sex was perfect.”

Adam looked up. “No offense, but she topped anything we ever did.”

For a long moment Tommy stared at him, then he began to laugh. “She topped you?” He said increadulously.

Adam sucked in a deep breath and then gave a short nod. “Not my point, but yes.”

“But you’re not a bottom.”

“Damn it Tommy! In straight sex, maybe I am.” He let out a low sigh and he moved himself to lay his head on Tommy’s lap, looking up into his thoughtful eyes.

“Do you know her name?”

Adam shook his head. “No. I couldn’t get her number, or her picture, or her name. And I never usually ask. She wasn’t just a normal fuck…she was supposed to be mine.”

Tommy gently stroked Adam’s cheek. The dark haired man released a tense sigh and closed his eyes. “If I’d had my way, I wouldn’t have lost her.”

Tommy sighed sympathetically. “I’m sorry man.”

\-------

A few years later, Adam was again in the same town as the one when he had slept with the girl who stole his heart. After almost a year, he picked up the habit of fucking random twinks in the bars again, and restarted his on stage romance with Tommy, but he never kept a lover more than a night. His fucks were faceless, nameless, and worthless to him. Often enough, Tommy would walk past Adam’s room and hear him jerking off to the memory of what Tommy knew was an exact replica of his only night with that girl. But soon that stopped too and Adam withdrew into himself.

Everyone noticed the shift in Adam eventually. His next two albums over the past three years had all been centered on the loss of “the right one.” Besides Tommy, nobody else knew who Adam was referring to, but everyone knew Adam was hurting inside.

When the concert finished, a man barreled his way past Adam’s security guards and made his way inside backstage. Adam stood up a bit on the defensive side.

“Lambert?” The man said gruffly.

Adam nodded. “Who are you?”

“Do you know who this is?” He asked, holding up a picture of a girl. Adam stepped forward to get a closer look and then he took a step back with a strangled cry.

“Please. Don’t haunt me with her. If this is some game…I don’t want to know about it.”

“So you do know her.” The man stated.

“Yes, but…”

“Do you know where she is?”

Adam shook his head. “The last time I saw her, she was leaving me for good. I don’t even know her name.”

“Her name is Jessikah. She has a three year old daughter she name Colette.”

Adam took a deep breath. “Jessikah.”

The man shook his head. “She’s my sister.”

Adam looked at the man again. “She has a daughter? So she got married then. I had hoped she’d at least find a man who could love her right.”

“Married? Hell no.”

“Then how…?” He looked up. “Colette is my daughter?” He asked slowly.

The man nodded. “Look man, I don’t hate you for knocking her up, but now that you know, you need to do something. At least help her provide for her and the girl.”

“No. Let me see both of them. I’ll marry her. Honest.”

“Look, you’re a celebrity, you’re only taking pity on her becase she’s knocked up with your kid.”

“You don’t understand. I fell in love with her. I wanted to see her again, and now I find out that she had my baby. I’ve never been so overjoyed in my life. Please, take me to her.”

Jessikah’s brother shook his head. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“All I can do is take money to support her. She doesn’t want to see you.”

Adam stepped back. “But…” He turned away. He walked over to his bag and pulled out his wallet. He took out a huge handful of hunderd doller bills and grabbed one of his credit cards. He wrote the pin on a slip of paper and then put it into an envelope. “I will go with you and give this to her personally, and then I will leave. I just need to see her and my daughter.”

“My name’s Alex.”

Adam shook his hand and followed him. Tommy stopped him on his way out.

“Where are you going?”

Adam stopped and looked at Tommy. “I’m going to see her. I’ll be back later. Call if you need me.”

Tommy raised an eyebrow, but nodded. “Okay.”

\--------

Adam followed Alex to Jessikah’s house. Alex led him inside and Adam found Jessikah sitting on the couch with a children’s cartoon playing and a small girl alseep on the floor with a pillow under her head and a blanket around her shoulders. His heart swelled with pride. Then he noticed the way Jessikah was sitting. Her eyes widened as she saw him.

“Adam?” She choked out. “What are you…?” She stood up and then slowly approached him. “Why did you come?”

“Alex sent me.”

“Alex?”

Adam turned around and pointed to where the man had stood only a moment before. “Your brother?” Adam supplied.

“I don’t have a brother.”

“Then…” Adam looked around. “Alex?” He called.

He heard a ghost of a whisper as the wind rustled through the house. Don’t let a minute get away, because you have not time to lose.

He turned back to Jessikah. “An angel.” He whispered. “An angel led me to you.”

Jessikah stared back at her feet. “I don’t see why one would need to. I’m not worth your time and I don’t want your money. Colette and I are fine on our own.”

Adam shook his head. “No. Don’t you dare say that again. If an angel had to intervene in order for us to be together, then I swear I’m not letting you go again. I’m going to marry you Jess, and it’s going to be in a church and I’m going to change my sinful ways. I’m going to make you my wife and I will help you raise Colette.”

“Adam…but I’m…”

Adam stopped her by pulling her in for a deep kiss. Her arms laced around his neck and he drew her body into his. He was blissfully surprised at how their bodies moulded together. He pulled his mouth from hers and rested his forehead against hers. “There were days when I was missing you and I didn’t know if I could go another day without you. Tommy helped me get through. He told me that one day I’d find you again, but I’d nearly given up.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. Colette needs a father.”

“She needs her mother too.”

“But…”

“Everytime I sang Never Close Our Eyes, it hurt me because every word was so true for me. I’ve spent years missing you, and now that I have you…”

She smiled and reached up to kiss him again. “I don’t know why you’d want me…”

“You’re beautiful Jess. You’re beautiful on the inside, and the outside. And we have a daughter. A georgeous daughter. Damn you’ve made me the happiest man alive.”

Jess smiled weakly. “I’ve failed to do so for other men. It’s just the fact that we’ve slept together and I had your baby that makes you think I’m worth it.”

Adam groaned. “This again? You’re perfect to me. I don’t know why, but even your flaws and insecurities make me all the more sure that you’re the right one for me. Please…don’t let me lose you, and don’t give up in yourself.”

“I’ll try.”

Adam smiled and leaned down to kiss her. “Thank you.” After a long, sloppy, passionate kiss, he pulled away and then sank to one knee. “I haven’t had time to think this through fully, and my manager may not appreciate this, and I don’t have a ring or a speech, but I know for sure that I want to marry you. Will you accept me and become my wife?”

Jessikah stared down at Adam and then reached up to wipe a tear from her eye and then nodded. “Yes Adam. I’ll do it.”

Adam breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you…thank you so much.”

Jess dropped to her knees in front of him and then kissed him one more time. When they finally broke away, it was due to Adam’s phone ringing in his back pocket. He answered it and Tommy’s worried voice came over the line.

Hey man, where are you? You just ran off by yourself and it kinda scared the crap outta me. Where you at?

“I found her. Her name is Jessikah, and I’m a father Tommy. I’m gonna marry Jess and fuck I have so much to tell you.”

You’re not messing with me, right?

“No Tommy. I’m serious. I’ll be back later. See if you can keep management at bay for a while, okay?”

I’ll try man. You’ll be back in the morning?

“Yeah.” Adam hung up and then stood up, bringing Jess up with him. She smiled as he wrapped an arm around her waist. She had put on a bit of weight after the birth of their baby, but he still found her increadibly beautiful. “May I see Colette?”

Jess nodded and then knelt beside her daughter. Bright blue eyes blinked open and the girl sat up, her golden orange hair falling in light curls around her face. She turned around and looked up. “Daddy?” She asked.

Adam’s eyes widened and he looked at Jess with a shocked and proud look on his face. “Yes. I’m your daddy.” He barely managed to whisper.

The girl made an excited squeal. “Yey! Daddy’s home. Mommy said…Mommy said…she said…daddy would come home.” She jumped up into Adam’s embrace and he held the child close.

“Daddy came home. And he loves you so much.” He reached out for Jess and pulled her into his embrace and kissed the top of Colette’s head. “Daddy loves both of you so much.

\------

Six years later, Jessikah and Adam were celebrating their fifth year of marriage. They had had two more children since they got married. Colette was nine, Matthew was five, and Sarah was four. Adam had wanted more children, but for the past four years, they had not managed another baby. As Adam and Jess sat at their dinner table, their three kids at home with Tommy, Jess grinned and beckoned for Adam to lean over.

“I have something to tell you.”

“What?” He asked.

“You’ll have to wait until later.”

Adam groaned and tried to do the puppy dog eyes on her, but to no avail. She didn’t aknowledge him.

Later that night, after they had tired themselves out with nighttime adult play, Jess snuggled up into Adam’s embrace. He kissed her forehead gently. “What is it you wanted to tell me?” He asked.

“I’m pregnant.”

His eyes widened and he pulled back to look at her. He pulled the covers down to put his hand over her belly. She blushed a bit at his eagerness. “Shit I can already feel the bump. How far along are you?”

“Four months.”

“Four? And you already show this much. How come I didn’t notice?”

“I didn’t want you to know. I wanted to save it for tonight.”

He kissed her passionately and had a hard time pulling away when she pushed him. “What?” He asked impatiently.

“There’s more.”

“What?”

“I’ve got twins.”

Adam sucked in a deep breath. “Forget about the sunrise, fight the sleep in your eyes, I don’t want to miss a second with you, let’s stay awake forever, it’s only getting better, if we want it too.”

She giggled at his impromptu singing. “I wish that this night would never be over…”

Together they finished the chourus and they reached their completion as Adam whispered the last word of the song. “Never.” He kissed her one more time and then they curled back together and he held her close.

He never did let her go, not when their twin girls were born, and not two years later when their second son was born. Three years later, he held her through the delivery of their twin boys, and had to let her go as she died. He held onto memories, love induced promises, and his eight beautiful children who reminded him so much of their mother. Tommy was there for Adam when he was missing Jessickah, but Adam was there for his children when they missed their mother. He proved to be the best father alive and loved his children, even when it hurt.

When he felt his life fading, on what would have been his fourtieth wedding anniversary with Jessikah, his children and grandchildren gathered around him, heard him whisper, “I’m coming for you Jessikah.” And Adam Lambert closed his eyes for the last time, ready to join her where they would never close their eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Another sonfic I wrote just after I saw Les Miseables...hence the daughter's name ;) and this one kind of means a lot to me because I feel like a lot of girls don't find themselves to be perfect. I'm not saying we're all going to marry Adam or something because of this (I adore Sauli BTW) but girls need to recognize that their perfect partner is going to love them no matter what. There is no need to cut yourself down. You're perfect the way you are. Believe in yourself. :)


End file.
